"Playing Big": Inner Wisdom, Calling, and Dealing with Criticism in the Classical Music World with Tara Mohr
In another episode of Penthesilea on Air podcast, a personal dream came true for me—I had the privilege of speaking with Tara Mohr, a leading voice in women’s leadership and author of Playing Big: Practical Wisdom for Women Who Want to Speak Up, Create, and Lead. This book has inspired thousands of women around the world—including myself—to take bold steps toward their unique vision of “playing big.”
Tara Mohr’s work, featured in The New York Times and Harvard Business Review, touches on universal themes: the power of inner wisdom, overcoming internal barriers, and the courage to follow one’s calling. Although the book was originally written for women, its insights are profoundly valuable for musicians of all genders and ages—for anyone seeking to live their voice, art, and vocation authentically. Personally, Tara’s work has become a cornerstone of my own coaching practice.
Playing Big in the Classical Music World
Especially for classical musicians, the concept of “playing big” holds unique relevance—whether during their studies or in preparation for auditions. When individuals grow as people and allow themselves to take up more space on both personal and professional stages, this directly influences their music. Breath, posture, and expressiveness shift—the sound becomes bigger, phrasing more liberated, and performance more expressive. Tara’s approaches often open the door to a new sense of agency. That she herself was deeply moved to hear how powerfully inner experience can affect outer sound was a moment that touched me as well.
What Is a Calling?
One central theme of our conversation was the concept of “callings.” Tara describes a calling as a task through which we bring love, kindness or light into the world—not necessarily comfortable, often challenging. Her own calling was first to amplify women’s voices; today, her focus has expanded far beyond that.
According to Tara, we don’t have only one single calling. Different callings can emerge during different stages of life. For those, for example, who begin to question their path after repeated audition setbacks, the question might be: What is calling me now? Maybe it’s a pause, a completely new direction, or a teaching position? Often, callings appear as persistent ideas—ones worth pursuing despite resistance—or as a deep discomfort with a status quo that longs to be changed. The path is rarely linear—and that’s where its strength lies.
The Inner Mentor
A powerful concept from Tara’s book is the Inner Mentor. This inner voice—calm, loving, and wise—is distinctly different from our noisy everyday thinking. It’s akin to the “higher self” or what Carl Jung referred to as the Self (with a capital S). The key is to regularly engage with this inner wisdom—through meditation, visualization, or simple questions like: What would my Inner Mentor do in this situation? With practice, this connection can become accessible even in moments of doubt—such as on stage.
The Inner Critic
In contrast, there is the Inner Critic—the voice of self-judgment. While some believe it motivates excellence, the opposite is true: it causes stress, stifles creativity and drains joy. Those who try to motivate themselves through criticism may become efficient—but never innovative or deeply fulfilled. The solution? Not to silence it, but to shift how we relate to it. In her book, Tara offers ways to stop automatically giving this voice the steering wheel.
Criticism and Feedback in Music
In the classical world, feedback plays a central role—often coupled with strong dependence on external validation. Tara Mohr reminds us: feedback says more about the perspective of the person giving it than about our intrinsic worth. It reflects preferences, styles, or contexts—not our essential selves.
Helpful questions might be: Is this feedback useful? Who is it coming from? What happens if I integrate it? Meaningful feedback often brings an inner “aha” moment that sheds light on a blind spot. The goal, however, is not to internalize every critique, but to seek genuine resonance with it.
Two Types of Fear
One fascinating concept Tara introduces involves two distinct types of fear—based on ancient Hebrew terms:
Pachad: the fear of imagined or projected things. Catastrophes we envision. The fear of the “reptilian brain.”
Yirah: a kind of reverent, alive feeling that feels like fear but actually expands us—when we take up more space, internally or externally.
Before a concert, for instance, many musicians experience both: Pachad (“What if I fail?”) and Yirah (“How powerful is this moment!”). Pachad we can soothe. Yirah—we are invited to welcome.
Final Thoughts
Tara Mohr reminds us: Playing Big is a journey of growth and self-realization. Equally important is the journey of simply being, of care, and of celebrating the present moment.
I’m still deeply moved by this conversation, filled with meaningful insights. To every musician out there, I wholeheartedly recommend Tara’s book and her work as a transformative resource.
🎧 Listen to the full episode here:
